Ask Natalie by Natalie Bencivenga

Want to redesign your engagement ring like Meghan Markle? Friend sent you a text about you accidentally?

DEAR NATALIE: I recently saw that Meghan Markle redesigned her engagement ring. I have been wanting to do the same. My husband and I have been married for about 6 months and I really do not like the ring. He designed it himself, but it’s just not my style. I am thinking that it might be OK to just redesign it since the wedding is over. What do you think? When I approached him about this, he was really upset. I don’t know why. It’s just jewelry. I’m the one who has to wear it. Thoughts? —REDO THE RING

DEAR REDO THE RING: I have really mixed feelings about this situation. I thought it was really tacky that Meghan Markle, the Duchess of Sussex, redesigned her ring so soon after the royal wedding. I know she is trying to cultivate an image of a giving and friendly person, but the ring issue only made her look materialistic and shallow. Now, clearly, you are not in the exact same position. People you don’t know aren’t judging you from a distance with no clue as to the greater context of the situation. And while I understand that you don’t like your engagement ring, there is something to be said about the sentimentality of your husband creating this for you. He proposed to you with this ring. He put effort into creating it and hoped that you would love it as much as he did. Clearly, he missed the mark. And it’s true, you are the one that has to wear it everyday. But before you redesign it completely, try to think about what it represents to you. Ask your husband to be a part of the redesign, which may make him feel a little less salty about this whole situation. Perhaps you should try and keep one or two elements of the ring that you actually do like, whether it’s the size of the band or the amount of stones he used to create it. But, after it is recreated, do something to bless this new ring, find a way to honor it now. You want that ring to carry with you only good energy and lots of love, so make an affirmation acknowledging that love shifts and changes and grows. As long as you and your husband grow together, the world is full of wonderful possibilities.

           

           

DEAR NATALIE:  My “friend” accidentally sent me a text meant for someone else. It wasn’t a nice text, either. It was about me. I felt really taken aback by it and hurt. Now she isn’t texting me back when I asked her to explain herself. Is this how she wants our relationship to end? — TEXT MESS UP

DEAR TEXT MESS UP: The only thing you can really do is wait this one out. Clearly, your friend is embarrassed. She probably sent the text in a heated moment, didn’t pay much attention to who received it, and is currently breathing into a paper bag in a fit of panic. This is literally the worst nightmare via text message. Since you already responded to the text, see how long it takes her to apologize. She needs to apologize sooner rather than later. But sit back on this one. If she doesn’t respond, then you really know how little this relationship meant to her. At that point, don’t put any effort into mending something that she isn’t willing to work on. If she does respond, hear her out. She should apologize first, then explain herself. Maybe there was something that you did do to upset her but she didn’t know how to talk to you about it. Regardless, talking badly behind your back would make anyone reevaluate the relationships, but see what she has to say, first, before deciding the fate of this friendship.

           

           

Natalie’s Networking Tip of the Week: If the word “networking” scares you, think of it as “relationship building,” instead. Don’t get too in your head about it. Just get out there and make some new friends!

           

           

Need advice? Send questions to nbencivenga@post-gazette.com. Follow Natalie on Twitter @NBSeen and on Instagram @NatalieBenci.