Ask Natalie by Natalie Bencivenga

Focus On Your Guy and Skip His Pals

DEAR NATALIE: My boyfriend and I took our time to get to know each other before jumping into titles and formalities. When I did meet his female friend, she was less than polite. He explained that's just her nature, and she hadn't gotten the memo yet either. It's been months since then, and there has been no action on her behalf to at least be cool with me. 

Yes, I get that we all have our separate lives and friends. No, I don't expect to become her new BFF. All I'm looking for is a little respect, that's all! If I were good friends with a guy who obtained a girlfriend, I would go out of my way to make her feel comfortable. 

Should I try to reach out to her, or is that overstepping my boundaries? I've asked him to invite her and her boyfriend out with us.

Perhaps I'll just let it go. He's very good to me, and I like him a lot. What do you think I should do? -- Girl Fail

DEAR Girl Fail: The chilly reception you are receiving from your boyfriend's girlfriend probably is because she has unresolved feelings for him. If she had a thing for him, she should have acted on it while he was single. Now, it's too late, and she's most likely jealous of your relationship. This sounds like "My Best Friend's Wedding." (And you are Cameron Diaz!) In all seriousness, don't bother with her. It isn't your problem and don't make it yours. Instead, be cordial but distant with her. Focus on your relationship with him, because it sounds like you are enjoying his company. Water what you want to grow and let the rest fade away. She'll get the hint. Maybe this will teach her to go after what she wants in life instead of waiting in the wings for things to happen. 

Please send your relationship and lifestyle questions to or tweet them to @NBSeen. You can also send postal letters to Natalie Bencivenga, 358 North Shore Drive, Pittsburgh, PA 15212

(This column was originally published by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.)