Ask Natalie by Natalie Bencivenga

Friend Dating a Rich Jerk

DEAR NATALIE: My friend is dating this really rich guy who is a possessive jerk. So I told her straight up, I won't hang out with you and your boyfriend. They both have caused a lot of drama among our circle of friends, and I just don't like him or her when she is with him. However, she stalks my Facebook, sees when I'm going out with my family and invites herself along, anyway, even when I tell her I don't want to be around him. She is a great friend, and I love her. I just don't know how to handle all the drama of the situation with the boyfriend. -- Bad Blood

DEAR BAD BLOOD: Getting in between a friend and her boyfriend never ends well. I have lost good friends because in the past I thought I was being helpful by telling them that they could do better, that these guys were disrespectful and mean to them, and that they didn't need anyone making them cry. And guess who lost? Me. I didn't really know what was going on behind closed doors. I was giving unsolicited advice, and not everyone appreciates that, especially in delicate situations such as matters of the heart. So, tread lightly. 

If you like your friend, invite her out for "girls' nights" so it is clear that no partners are coming along. If she won't do that, then you have to decide whether you can stomach being around him, or if you would rather just pull back and wait for the other shoe to drop. Then you will be there when she calls you and you have to help pick up the pieces.  

Please send your relationship and lifestyle questions to or tweet them to @NBSeen. You can also send postal letters to Natalie Bencivenga, 358 North Shore Drive, Pittsburgh, PA 15212

(This column was originally published by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.)