DEAR HARRIETTE: My nephew invites me to all of his sporting events. In a way, this is sweet. We love each other and are close. What gets me is that his dad rarely, if ever, shows up for any of these events. When I am unable to attend, my nephew gets upset with me and works to make me feel guilty. I feel like if his dad were more involved, the pressure would be less intense for me. What can I do to get his dad to step up and my nephew to cut me a break? -- Stretched, Dallas
DEAR STRETCHED: It is unlikely that you can influence your nephew’s dad if he isn’t taking responsibility for his son already. If you do have a relationship with him, however, you can make an effort. You can contact him and meet, preferably in person. Tell him how excited your nephew is about his athletics and how much he wants to have his family there to cheer him on. Add that your nephew has been pressuring you to show up every time, but you believe it would mean more to him for his dad to be there.
As far as your nephew goes, manage his expectations by reminding him how much you love him and telling him clearly that you cannot come to every game. Let him know in advance what you can attend. Remind him along the way so that he knows you are connected.
(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)