DEAR HARRIETTE: I have two best friends who have been in a serious relationship for five years. They recently got engaged and are scheduled to be married at the beginning of next spring.
The woman and I were hanging out and having some girl time when she received a phone call and quickly got up to leave the room. After she got back, I asked her about the call; after some pushing, I found out she has another man on the side whom she has been seeing for the past six months.
I am at a complete loss -- I love and am loyal to both of my best friends, and while I don't want to betray anyone's trust or be responsible for their breakup, I don't want to see them go through with a wedding that shouldn't happen. Should I tell her fiance that she is cheating, or should I stay out of this? Any guidance would be appreciated. -- Conflict of Interest, Philadelphia
DEAR CONFLICT OF INTEREST: This is a very tricky situation. The best thing you can do is speak directly to your friend who revealed the affair. Ask her if she still plans to get married. Directly ask her if she intends to stay with this other man or if she plans to commit fully to her upcoming marriage. Finally, make it clear to her that you consider yourself to be best friends with both her and her fiance. Suggest strongly that she work out her business so that she can do what's right for her and what's honorable for her relationship. Make it clear that you will not lie for her.