DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband is ill, and a distant family member from out of state decided to pay us a visit. It was nice to see my husband's cousin because he was able to lift my husband's spirits in this time of need. A few months after our guest visited our home, we discovered we had bedbugs. I called the exterminator: He went to the guest room and confirmed how long we have had them. I am thinking there is a strong possibility that we got them from our houseguest. (We rarely have guests these days, and he was the only sleepover guest in a few years.)
It has been a nightmare around here for close to a year trying to get rid of them, and I think we have seen the last of them. Now my cousin wants to visit us in the next two months. What can we say or do to prevent this from happening again without offending anyone? -- Bedbugs Do Bite, Milwaukee
DEAR BEDBUGS DO BITE: What an awkward situation! In times like these, it's often best to be thoughtfully direct. Get your cousin on the phone and tell him that you have a very uncomfortable topic to broach with him. Ask him if his home has bedbugs. Explain that the reason you are asking is because shortly after he visited your home last year, you discovered an infestation in the guest room where he slept. Add that no one else has slept in that room for years.
Acknowledge how awkward this discussion is, and point out that thousands of people have reported getting bedbugs in recent years. Tell him that you need to know because you are concerned about getting them again since it took a year to get rid of them.
If he acts insulted, apologize for making him feel uncomfortable. If he says he has had them, do your best not to let him sleep at your house (or bring his luggage there). If he swears it wasn't him, invite him at your own risk. Ask your exterminator if there's anything preventative you can do to kill bedbugs before they become a problem.