DEAR HARRIETTE: My wife of 30 years cut me off from all loving five years ago for no reason. I am 70 years old, and I still have 100 percent of my sexual ability. Do you think my wife has a boyfriend or someone else? I've read that a woman who has cheated can no longer have sex and enjoy it like she did previously. The Bible says if a person causes another person to sin, she is guilty for it. What can I do? -- Need Some Lovin', Taylorville, Illinois
DEAR NEED SOME LOVIN': I think you should invite your wife out for a romantic dinner. Suggest that she order her favorite foods. Listen to her conversation. Be fully present with her. Tell her that you love her and appreciate her and look forward to spending the next 30 years of your lives together. Ask her what you can do that would make her feel great. Use this romantic moment to be a great listener.
If she is open to conversation, ask her what you can do to get her interested in intimacy again. Tell her that you miss that part of your relationship and want to figure out how to rekindle the romantic spirit.
While it is possible that your wife has someone else, it is equally if not more likely that her libido has slowed down. You can ask her why she chooses not to be intimate with you anymore. Be prepared to listen to her answer. As you encourage her to change her mind, do not behave forcefully. That will not win her back.