DEAR HARRIETTE: I just got a big check for a job I did a few months back, and I was so excited to get some money that I went out and spent it all. I feel like such an idiot. But I had gone so long being broke that I wanted to treat myself. The treats just seemed to grow and get out of hand. Now I'm back at square one with all kinds of bills to pay and no money to pay it. I do have a couple of checks that I'm waiting for, but I realize that I have created a terrible pattern. I have done this before. I'm not proud of myself, but I know what I do. How can I stop the cycle of binge spending and then being broke? -- Throwing in the Towel, Los Angeles
DEAR THROWING IN THE TOWEL: You need help, immediately. Many people with financial challenges such as yours get help for free from Debtors Anonymous, debtorsanonymous.org. Through this program, you can learn what your triggers are and discover ways to resist the temptation to fall into your own traps.
You have proven to yourself that you cannot handle your finances on your own. Remember that and get the support you need. Essentially, you are dealing with a type of addiction. Because it has to do with something you need in your life, it is not something you can walk away from. Instead, you must learn to manage your behavior. It would be wise for you to get a compassionate financial adviser who can help you negotiate with creditors, develop strategies to pay down your debt and otherwise help you get set on a path to making healthier choices about how you live and spend. You can get free advice from the IRS, your local unemployment office and your local community center.
You can turn your life around -- just not by yourself. Get the help you need.
(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)