DEAR HARRIETTE: I have spent the last semester studying abroad, and I came home last week. My group of friends is really close, and we always make sure we hang out together. While I haven't kept in contact with my friends as much as I could have, I expected that they would call me to go out with them.
I have told them I am back home; however, they have not called to see if I want to go out with them since I have been back. I know they have been going out with each other -- I see their posts on Twitter and Facebook. I am very upset.
Should I ignore them, or should I confront them and ask them why they are not inviting me to go out with them? -- Friendless, Scarsdale, N.Y.
DEAR FRIENDLESS: I understand how sensitive you are feeling about your friends and their exclusion of you. However, I would like for you to look at your situation a little differently.
You mentioned that you reached out to them to say that you are home. You also admitted that you haven't stayed in touch the way that you would have hoped. Have you called them to get together? Rather than sulking about them not inviting you to their various activities, be proactive. Call them. Tell them how much you miss them, and ask if you can hang out with them soon. Extending your hand may be all that's needed.
If, however, they remain chilly, call them back and ask them why they don't want to hang out with you anymore. Tell them you miss them and really want to reconnect.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a good guy friend with whom I have been spending a lot of time lately. We have been friends for many years, and I know that he used to like me while I was dating someone else. I have been single for a while, and I have started to develop a crush on my friend.
I am unsure if he still has the same feelings for me, and I feel like the situation has flipped with me having a crush on him while he does not feel the same way. There have been many opportunities these last few days to tell him how I feel, but I am scared of rejection and the fact that this may ruin our friendship. -- Out on a Limb, Shreveport, La.
DEAR OUT ON A LIMB: Here's the thing: You can wait and wonder and never find out or step out on faith and tell your friend your feelings. Since you already know that he had feelings for you at one time, you know that he could have interest.
Tell him that you think you like him, and you wonder if he still has feelings for you. You can add that you most want to be his friend, but you figured that since you have noticed these feelings, you thought you would tell him to see if he shares them. Listen for his response.