DEAR HARRIETTE: As my wedding day approaches, I find myself filled with doubt and uncertainty about marrying my long-time boyfriend. Despite our history together, I am overwhelmed by a sense of hesitation and questioning whether proceeding with the marriage is the right decision. These feelings of doubt have intensified as the big day draws near, causing me to wonder if I should go through with it at all. What I am experiencing is causing me great distress and confusion. I am torn between honoring the commitment I made and following my instincts that are signaling hesitation. I worry about the potential impact of moving forward with a marriage that I am not fully confident in, and I fear the repercussions of making the wrong choice. -- Wedding Day Doubts Linger
DEAR WEDDING DAY DOUBTS LINGER: Put on the brakes and reassess your life. Now is the time to evaluate everything. Why have you stayed with this man for so long? What do you like and love about him? Write everything down. Next, record what your specific apprehensions are. What is making you second-guess your decision to marry him? Be as granular as you can so that you can look at your reasons and decide if they are merely jitters, or if you have legitimate concerns. If this reflection results in you truly feeling like this is the wrong decision, talk to your fiance and call it off. It is way better to end an engagement than a marriage. Of course, he and others will be upset. But the disentanglement will be much easier if you do it before you sign the papers.