DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a 20-year-old student who recently relocated temporarily to Europe. I have been living here for two months, and I love it. I have recently been feeling guilty because I have done a poor job of keeping in touch with my family. I was raised to be extremely independent, so I don’t often rely on my parents or older sisters for help with anything in my life emotionally or financially; therefore, I don’t often call -- and neither do they because they know I am very busy.
I believe my subconscious feels horrible about the distance because I had a dream about my oldest sister the other day, and when I woke up, I realized she hadn’t even crossed my mind since I arrived in Europe two months ago. I haven’t talked to her since December, and I feel horrible but also annoyed because I always have to call her, and so does everyone else in the family. How can I address this guilt and find a balance between my independence and maintaining connections with my family? -- Independent
DEAR INDEPENDENT: For your peace of mind, establish a rhythm for contacting your family members just to say hi. It can be anything from once a week to once a month. You can call or text. In that way, you know you are making an effort. It’s nice to keep them in the loop while you’re on your grand adventure.
Look past your big sister blues and stay in touch with her. Don’t worry about what she does or doesn't do. Do your part so that you feel comfortable. She will do whatever she chooses.