DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been married two wonderful years. I was recently in a serious car accident and am currently unable to drive. The person who mainly drives me around is my husband, but sometimes friends and family take me to my appointments or to run errands. Recently my husband announced that he will no longer take me to buy my birth control pills because he's ready to have a child and doesn't want to wait.
Since I am out of work, I have no money of my own and must rely solely on him for support. Because he is no longer willing to provide me with the funds to buy birth control, I am unable to ask anyone else to give me a ride to the pharmacy. When we have sex, he refuses to use protection.
Although I want children in the future, I do not feel ready to have any now. We married young and still have years ahead of us to get pregnant and be active parents.
Please tell me what to do. I'm afraid if I refuse to have a baby with him he will leave or, when I am ready, decide our time to start a family has passed. I love him and would do anything for him. Should I just give in, and is it really worth a fight? -- NOT QUITE READY IN COLORADO
DEAR NOT QUITE READY: You and your husband need professional mediation NOW. You should not be strong-armed into having a child, which is what your husband is attempting to do. Women who become pregnant under the circumstances you have described often feel trapped and resentful, which can negatively affect their ability to parent. If you were so seriously injured in the accident that you can't drive or work, it's questionable that you are even healthy enough to start a pregnancy.
What's happening is all wrong, and my alarm bells are blaring. If this is the way joint decisions are made in your marriage, there is real serious trouble ahead for you. So no, you should not just give in, and yes, it really is worth a fight -- or, at the very least, further discussion.