A newsletter editor in her 40s fell in love with a roomy five-bedroom ranch-style house just a block away from the smaller property she shared with her husband, a janitor. The all-brick property on a full acre lot felt palatial, and the editor thought its purchase could help save her troubled marriage.
But the home’s seller -- a retired receptionist in her late 60s -- resisted an offer from the couple. She’d been the proud owner of the home for more than 20 years and had hoped a higher-status couple would buy her place, which had tripled in value during her tenure. Indeed, she was also expecting offers over the asking price.
“This lady insulted us, and no amount of cajoling made any difference. We wrote her letters, pleading with her. Yet though our offer was a full-price one, she steadfastly refused to take it seriously. So we bailed out of talks with her, and soon after, our marriage also cracked up,” the editor says.
Dorcas Helfant, a former president of the National Association of Realtors, doesn’t know the couple in this true but unhappy tale. But she has several observations about the situation.
“First of all, you should never pin the future of your marriage on finding the perfect property, because a house doesn’t make a relationship. Second, there’s no point in pleading with extremely resistant sellers. Some owners just won’t ever budge, whether on price or other terms,” she says.
The reality is that the median price for available homes across the nation is starting to slip very slightly, according to Realtor.com, the home listing service. What’s more, an increasing number of longtime owners are finally letting go of their properties, despite stubbornly high mortgage rates that make a move more expensive.
“This spring, many sellers are actively listing their homes, with the number of newly listed homes up by 30.1% from a year ago,” Jiaya Xu, an economist for Realtor.com says.
At this stage in the real estate cycle, it’s still a seller’s market in many popular neighborhoods. Yet some owners remain reluctant to negotiate, given that their properties could have yielded them higher profits during the pandemic of a few years ago, says Helfant, who co-owns several Coldwell Banker realty offices.
Ambivalent home sellers of any age can make it tough for wannabe buyers. Indeed, some owners will never relinquish their place and in the end simply take it off the market rather than sell, wasting the time of all involved.
The reluctance of older home sellers can make it hard for younger purchasers to negotiate their way to ownership, says Tom Early, a longtime real estate broker who works solely with buyers.
“Some older sellers are frankly very arrogant. They assume their property is worth more than it is and only consent to an offer when forced to. Their behavior toward sellers masks an unconscious resentment against anyone who’d dare take away the place to which they’re emotionally attached,” says Early, the former president of the National Association of Exclusive Buyer Agents (naeba.org).
Here are a few pointers for buyers on dealing with difficult sellers:
-- Try to find out about the sellers' level of motivation.
“Many people have no choice but to sell because of a divorce or financial issues. Yet others are merely testing the market and won’t sell if they don’t get an offer that meets their bloated expectations,” Early says.
How can you find out what’s spurred the sellers to put their place on the market? Often your agent can get answers by simply asking the sellers’ agent direct questions.
-- Don’t rule out using a delaying tactic to deal with defiant sellers.
Many sellers have their egos tied up with the sale of their property. That can cause them to overplay their hand, even when they have a pressing need to sell. For example, they might make a counterproposal to your first offer with a 24-hour “take it or leave it” provision.
Should you reply to such a challenge on their terms? Not necessarily, says Early. In fact, failing to answer immediately could be an effective way to bring them down to earth on price. He calls this tactic the “walk-away.”
Disappearing from negotiations won’t cause unmotivated sellers to yield on price. But it could prompt motivated sellers to take a serious second look at your latest offer, especially if their property has languished unsold for a lengthy time and they’ve gotten no other bids.
“Psychologically, by taking away their candy for just five or 10 hours longer than they expected, you make them sweat enough to stop taking your interest for granted,” Early says.
Of course, this tactic won’t work in areas where multiple bidding remains the norm.
-- Acknowledge that some sellers will simply never compromise.
What should you do if the owners of a home demand a price you know to be excessive, and all attempts to negotiate seem futile?
Early recommends you let go of the property and begin seeking another immediately.
“Climb back into the saddle. The odds are that eventually you’ll find an even better house for a fair price,” Early says.
(To contact Ellen James Martin, email her at ellenjamesmartin@gmail.com.)