12/11/2011DEAR ABBY: Why do camera-happy people think it's OK to snap someone's picture and then post it on social networking sites without permission?
I recently attended a party for an old friend. Of course, everyone wanted a photo of the guest of honor. Don't get me wrong, I love pictures. But I think that if the photographer is intending to post it online, he or she should ask, "Is it all right if I post your photo on my Facebook page?"
One considerate person asked if he could photograph our table and we agreed. Another person didn't ask and just kept snapping away. I tried to duck out of the way when I knew it was going to be an unflattering shot, but it was posted anyway and I looked awful.
I have some health issues that have caused weight gain and hair loss, and I'm very self-conscious and do not want my image plastered all over the Internet looking this way. I am usually a good sport, but wonder if others feel this is a breach of etiquette and possibly security. What do you think? -- CAMERA-SHY IN PENNSYLVANIA
DEAR CAMERA-SHY: You are definitely not the only person who feels this way. Most people prefer to be seen when they know they look their best. Feeling as you do, contact the person who took and posted the picture and ask that it be taken down from the Facebook page. Your reason for asking is valid -- and if the person has any manners at, all your wishes will be respected.
DEAR ABBY: My college roommate "Jillian" has become my closest friend. When we started discussing room assignments for next year, she informed me that she won't be rooming with me because she wants to transfer to a different school to be with her boyfriend. She will be transferring from one of the best schools in the state to one that's much less prestigious.
If Jillian's boyfriend loved her, he wouldn't pressure her into changing schools. How can I convince her that she's giving up an opportunity to receive the best education here? -- WANTS THE BEST FOR HER IN GEORGIA
DEAR WANTS THE BEST FOR HER: It would be interesting to know how Jillian's parents feel about her making the move. Has she told them her plans yet? If they are aware and have voiced no objection, you could debate this with Jillian forever and not convince her because she's thinking with her heart, not her head.
This may not be what you're hoping to hear, but my advice is to start looking for another roommate.
DEAR ABBY: When my sister's husband comes to our house for a family dinner or other event, he immediately asks where he can take a nap. He then goes upstairs and sleeps for a couple of hours. This has been going on for more than five years and is not related to any medical condition. Should I mention this to my sister? I think he is being rude. -- "SLEEPY'S" B.-I.-L.
DEAR B.-I.-L.: You should definitely talk to your sister about her husband's behavior -- although she may wonder why it has taken you so long to do so. "Sleepy" may be uncomfortable interacting with people, which is why he retreats upstairs to sleep. Please withhold judgment until you have more information.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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