04/30/2010DEAR ABBY: My fiancee, "Cheryl," and I are in our early 30s and recently made an extremely difficult decision. We decided to terminate her pregnancy at six weeks. Cheryl's sister "Nicki" -- my future sister-in-law -- is opposed to abortion and now no longer wants to talk to me or have anything to do with me.
I have tried reaching out to Nicki to explain the reasons for our decision, but it has fallen on deaf ears. Should I continue asking her for forgiveness, or have I done enough already? This is causing Cheryl a great deal of pain, and I don't believe that it's fair for Nicki to punish me for a personal family decision. Please let me know your thoughts. -- CHERYL'S FIANCE IN PHOENIX
DEAR FIANCE: So how did Nicki get inserted in the middle of something that was none of her business in the first place? Surely, she didn't have a vote. Nicki is entitled to her feelings, but she has no right to punish you for a decision that was arrived at by both you and her sister. And the person to make that crystal clear to Nicki is Cheryl, not you, so stop apologizing.
The decision to terminate a pregnancy is an extremely sensitive one and never one that is taken lightly. Every decision has consequences, and I am sure that you and your fiancee accepted that when you made yours.
DEAR ABBY: Many senior citizens, including me, never get a phone call, visit or e-mail from our children or grandchildren. They say they're too busy with school, sports, etc. I say baloney!
Is this present generation so narcissistic that all they can think of is themselves? Your answer will go to many, many seniors who would like some communication once in a while. -- WAITING BY THE PHONE, FRIENDSWOOD, TEXAS
DEAR WAITING: There are far more constructive and rewarding things to do with your time than wait fuming by your phone because you feel you're not receiving enough attention. One of them would be to reach out and contact your children and grandchildren yourself. Others include getting out of your house, volunteering at a hospital (a pediatric ward, perhaps?), library, animal rescue or your political party -- ANYTHING but sit around feeling angry and isolated.
There is more pressure on families today than at any time I can remember. Many teens are so overscheduled and pressured to succeed they don't get enough sleep. So please try to judge them less harshly.
DEAR ABBY: My husband is a computer programmer. When he calls me from work I can hear him typing on his keyboard. I find this as rude as people texting while they're in the company of others. My husband thinks it is just fine and becomes angry if I mention it. What do you think? -- ANNOYED IN IMPERIAL BEACH, CALIF.
DEAR ANNOYED: I think that when your husband is working, he should devote his full attention to the job he's being paid to do. And as accomplished as your husband may think he is at multitasking, it is unfair to his boss to chat you up on company time. He should be making his personal calls during his breaks -- away from his computer.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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