DEAR ABBY: The daughter of a friend of more than 20 years is getting married next year. They live 1,400 miles away. She told me yesterday that I am invited to the wedding, but my live-in boyfriend is not. Her explanation is she has to control the costs. She told me a mutual friend's husband isn't invited, either.
Including the price of a gift, it would cost me around $900 to attend the wedding. She had implied that wedding gifts should be in the range of $200 to cover the expense of the food and drink.
I have decided to decline the invitation because my boyfriend can't come. What would an appropriate gift be? -- STAYING PUT IN WISCONSIN
DEAR STAYING PUT: According to the rules of etiquette, because you don't plan to attend the wedding, no gift is required. However, in light of your more than 20-year friendship, consider sending a token gift to the daughter -- the price range is up to you.
Readers, there is a common misconception that the price of wedding gifts must be in line with what the hosts spend on the food and beverages at the reception. According to Emily Post, that is a "modern myth," and "the amount you spend is strictly a matter of your budget."