Join the debate. Vote Now on the Dear Abby Poll of the week.

Grandma Needs Help Navigating Tricky Relationships in Son's Divorce

DEAR ABBY: My son and daughter-in-law are splitting up. I'm devastated for them and my two young grandchildren, with whom I'm very close.

They live in another state, so I stay with them when I go visit. Although we've always had a great relationship, I'm terrified that my daughter-in-law will not want me to visit her after the divorce. I'm heartsick and don't know how to proceed.

What can I do to maintain a good relationship with her, while staying on good terms with my son? My grandchildren mean the world to me. -- HEARTSICK IN THE WEST

DEAR HEARTSICK: The last thing you want or need is to get caught in the middle of the divorce. Try your level best not to take sides and be sure to give your almost-ex-daughter-in-law her space.

Assure her that you care about her and that you deeply regret that the marriage with your son didn't work out. (It's true.) Tell her you have grown to love her as a daughter and hope that, in spite of the divorce, you will always be close. Do not discuss any intimate details or assign blame, if you can possibly avoid it, and try to keep your visits upbeat while concentrating on your grandchildren.

Recent on uexpress