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Husband Loses Desire for Wife After Witnessing Her Overdose

DEAR ABBY: I have been married for three years to a woman who is very beautiful inside and out. (We have been together for six years.) Recently, I found out she is addicted to pain meds -- and two months ago she confided that she had gotten hooked on heroin.

I set up an intervention to get her into rehab. But when the time came to go, she kept putting it off. She said she wanted to get high "one more time," so I told her OK, as long as she did it at home, so I'd know she was safe. After she injected herself, she went limp, so I called 911 and got her into the hospital.

It is now two months later, and she is back. I love her dearly, but I no longer desire to be intimate with her. How do I tell her I will always stand by her, but no longer want to be intimate? She's younger and still has a strong sex drive. -- LOST THAT PART IN THE EAST

DEAR LOST: The news should be conveyed in the office of a licensed marriage and family therapist. While your sexual problem may result from the shock of seeing your wife nearly die in front of you, there may be more to it. You say she is "younger and still has a strong sex drive." This suggests that you are older and your lack of desire might to some extent be age- or hormone-related.

The two of you have a lot of talking to do about your feelings and your future. It would be better if it's done with the help of a trained moderator.

Also, if your wife was sharing needles, you both need to be tested for any diseases she may have contracted.

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