DEAR ABBY: I love my sister "Susan," but her 4-year-old son is completely out of control. "David" runs around restaurants, screaming and throwing food and doesn't listen at all. Susan keeps wanting to plan trips and outings with me, but when she brings David, it's embarrassing and unpleasant. I don't want to take off work and pay for a trip with my sister if I'm going to be miserable.
I do want to spend time with her, so how do I tell her this? I have kids of my own, and I work with kids. I am very tolerant of children, but even for me it's too much. -- LITTLE TERROR IN TEXAS
DEAR LITTLE TERROR: Assuming that David does not have an emotional or developmental disability, I don't recommend telling your sister any version of "Your kid is so obnoxious I no longer want to be exposed to his bad behavior."
I wish you had mentioned whether she brings along coloring books, toys or gadgets to keep her son entertained while he's in adult company. (Many parents do.) If the answer is no, suggest it. If the answer is yes, then it would not be out of line to say to your sister that you prefer your visits be adults-only because it will enable you both to concentrate on each other with no distractions.