DEAR ABBY: Last February we lost my 14-year-old niece to suicide. Needless to say, it has been very hard on the family, especially her father, who is my brother. The two of them were inseparable.
Her mother has been playing the "perfect mother" card since then, even though all they did was fight. Her latest move has the entire family appalled. "Mom" is planning a birthday party for my niece, with a DJ and everything, even though she never had one for her while she was alive.
We are all worried about my brother's state of emotional well being and how he will respond once he finds out. How do I approach her with my concerns and put a stop to the party? -- APPALLED AUNT IN THE EAST
DEAR APPALLED: You shouldn't and you can't. Have a talk with your brother about this and suggest grief counseling for himself and his wife if they haven't already had any. The poor woman may be planning to have the party out of guilt because she didn't host one while her daughter was alive, or because her relationship with the girl wasn't a good one. She may also be unable to accept that her child is gone and not thinking rationally. What a sad situation.