DEAR ABBY: I have an old friend, "Erika," who, when we were working together, was my superior. My problem is Erika will, from time to time, ask me questions seeming not to know anything about the subject. However, as I begin explaining whatever it is, she'll then say something that indicates she really is well-versed in the matter and knows more about it than I do.
I end up feeling blindsided, stupid, and like I have been set up. Why does she do this? And how can I avoid falling into this trap? Erika seems so sincere when she asks a question. -- FALLING FOR IT IN DECATUR, ILL.
DEAR FALLING FOR IT: She may do it as a form of one-upmanship -- or "asking questions" may be her way of making conversation. Because it makes you uncomfortable, ask her why she does it and, while you're at it, tell her how it makes you feel. If Erika cares about your feelings, she'll stop trying to one-up you. And if she doesn't, accept that you will either have to keep your guard up when you're with her, or limit the time you spend with her.