DEAR ABBY: My wife and I have been married three years. We married later in life. I was divorced, and she had been a widow for eight years.
The problem we're having is she continues to want to spend the holidays with her deceased husband's family. They are nice people, but I feel uncomfortable with it. We have talked about starting our own traditions, but she insists that she doesn't want to cut those ties. I feel like I am living with a ghost sometimes.
I have spoken to other members of her family. They have agreed that she needs to cut those ties, but my wife is being stubborn about changing her holiday routine. Your thoughts on this, please? -- LIVING WITH A GHOST IN KANSAS
DEAR LIVING WITH A GHOST: I don't know how long your wife was married before she was widowed, but it is possible that it was so long that she became a part of her in-laws' family, and you should not take that away from her. The solution to your problem lies in compromise. Not every holiday should be spent with them -- but that doesn't mean the two of you couldn't alternate. And that's what I recommend you do until you establish different traditions.