DEAR ABBY: I read one of your "pennies from heaven" columns more than a year ago. I thought the idea was quaint, but didn't pay it much mind because I've always felt that when someone's life ends -- that's it! I never believed in an afterlife. Well, I do now.
Alan, my best friend of 12 years, recently took his own life. It was a devastating loss for me, one I am still dealing with. However, one thing has been a huge help -- the pennies he leaves for me.
Alan used to give me any pennies and spare change he collected in his desk and pockets. He knew I was saving all the money I could get my hands on to buy something for my new kitty, and it was his unobtrusive way of helping. After Alan's death, I didn't associate the "pennies from heaven" letters in your column with him ... until the day before his funeral.
It was the morning of the last workday of the week. I just couldn't face going to work, knowing Alan's funeral was the next day. I sat crying in my car for 10 minutes, feeling nothing but anguish as I watched people pass through the parking garage to the high-rise elevator. More than 20 people must have passed by as I sat crying in my car.
After the last person was gone, I dried my eyes and walked slowly toward the elevator. As I pushed the button, I cast my eyes to the floor, feeling utterly hopeless and depressed. I saw a new penny staring face-up with this year's date on it! Suddenly I felt as if I wasn't alone anymore. I picked it up and called out Alan's name, as if I expected him to answer. He didn't, but I felt him "with me," and knew he was telling me I was going to be OK.
I have found several other pennies since then. Each felt like a sign from Alan, urging me to get on with my life. I framed the first penny with a photo of Alan and me. Whenever someone asks me what the penny means, I tell them Alan left it to me. And I smile. -- KELLI IN ALABAMA
DEAR KELLI: Alan left you more than a penny. He left you the knowledge of what it means to be a supportive friend. Lucky you.