To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Keepers Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)
Free Screening Can Detect Kidney Disease in Diabetics
DEAR ABBY: As someone who has been dealing with diabetes for most of my life, I've made a point to have regular medical checkups to keep a close watch on my cholesterol, blood pressure and glucose levels. For a long time, I thought I was doing everything I could to stay healthy.
What I didn't realize until I attended a free screening offered by the National Kidney Foundation was that diabetes is one of the leading causes of chronic kidney disease. This screening, called "KEEP" for Kidney Early Evaluation Program, is designed to detect kidney disease in the early stages in people like me who have diabetes and other health problems that put us at risk.
I knew I had diabetes. But KEEP identified my chronic kidney disease, and I have since been taking measures to keep it under control. I have also learned that doctors do not routinely screen for kidney function. Twenty million Americans -- that's one in every nine adults -- have chronic kidney disease, and 20 million MORE Americans remain at risk.
I'm writing to you, Abby, to ask you to let your readers know that if they suspect they have high blood pressure, diabetes or a family history of kidney disease, they, too, could be at risk. March 8 is World Kidney Day -- and it is the day the National Kidney Foundation is offering free KEEP screenings in 30 cities around the United States.
World Kidney Day is not a "holiday." It's a time to find out your family's history, assess whether you might be at risk and get checked out. Hopefully, it is also a day people can celebrate the idea of enjoying long, healthier lives for themselves and those they love ... for KEEPS!
-- ALMA McBRIDE, MERRITT ISLAND, FLA.
DEAR ALMA: Thank you for your helpful and informative letter. I, for one, was unaware that high blood pressure and diabetes -- in addition to a family history -- could make people more vulnerable to kidney disease.
Readers, to locate the KEEP screening nearest you, visit � HYPERLINK "http://www.keeponline.org" ��www.keeponline.org�, or call the National Kidney Foundation toll-free at (800) 622-9010.
DEAR ABBY: I share an apartment with my roommate, "Ally," whose boyfriend, "Todd," just moved in one day. We have our own rooms, but the wall dividing our rooms goes only halfway up, so I hear everything that they do -- including sex.
I can't stand it anymore! Todd never leaves because he doesn't have a job. While Ally works and goes to school, he lies around all day. She comes home and does Todd's laundry, cooks for him, cleans up after him and pays for everything. They have sex all the time, and it often wakes me up or keeps me awake at night.
I am paying over $1,000 a month, and I have reached the end of my rope. I don't know how to address it. Please help me. -- TEARING MY HAIR OUT IN ILLINOIS
DEAR TEARING MY HAIR OUT: It is time to inform your roommate that the situation has become intolerable, if you haven't already found the courage to do so. Your landlord might also want to weigh in on the discussion. I don't know what kind of lease you and Ally have, but it's time you read it closely. Many leases have clauses that restrict the number of days (and nights!) that "guests" may remain on the premises.
Child's Dangerous Behavior Is Cause for Serious Concern
DEAR ABBY: I have a friend I'll call "Sean" who has been having problems with his son, "Logan." It has gotten to the point where Sean is scared to be with Logan. The boy has begun showing psychotic behavior. Abby, Logan is only 5 years old.
Sean told me that Logan was torturing the family dog. He almost blinded the poor animal before Sean got rid of it. When Sean asked Logan why he was hurting the dog, the boy shrugged and replied, "I like the way it feels." What kind of answer is that for a 5-year-old?
Logan is in counseling and has had every test possible done, however the counselor says he is "fine." The counselor said that he behaves this way because he is being "neglected." But that is not true. I can't understand how a child could say that he likes the way it feels to torture an animal. He knows the difference between right and wrong, but likes the way it feels.
What can I do, and where can I go to get this child help? -- MYSTIFIED IN CALGARY
DEAR MYSTIFIED: It's time for your friend to consult some other doctors about his son's behavior, because the boy's counselor has been unable to help him. There is nothing wrong with seeking a second -- or third -- opinion.
Children who abuse animals have been known to grow up to become extremely violent adults unless there is serious psychiatric intervention. If Sean has not already done so, he should ask Logan's pediatrician for a referral to a psychoanalyst who specializes in children before the boy injures a child.
DEAR ABBY: I am perplexed at the number of people who do not read newspapers or even choose to tune in to TV news programs.
Only one of my five children keeps up with current events. (On a different level, a lot of the young people I see live with cell phones and iPods glued to their ears.) With a wave of hands, most of my family dismiss local, regional, national, political news, all world issues, etc., claiming they don't care to know any facts or issues because they're all too disturbing. They claim that what is going to happen is going to happen anyway, and they are too busy with their personal lives.
I remind them that we live in dangerous times, and it's their responsibility to be informed and alert for the safety of their families. They pooh-pooh me, saying I'm a fearmonger.
In my 75 years, I have seen and heard a lot. I know what can happen when a country becomes too complacent. Is the American populace falling into the trap of "see no evil, speak no evil, hear no evil" -- or am I just nuts? -- CONCERNED GRANDMA IN FLORIDA
DEAR CONCERNED GRANDMA: You're not nuts, but has it occurred to you that your family -- and many other people -- may not suffer from lack of information, but rather burnout from getting too much?
These days, more and more individuals get their news from the Internet via computers, cell phones and PDAs (personal digital assistants). In fact, they're getting their news faster than newspapers can put it on the stands. And that is why more and more newspapers are encouraging their readers to visit their Web sites for breaking news, while devoting their printed pages to longer analyses of newsworthy events.
Although I have heard a few people say they no longer feel connected to the political process because they cannot, as individuals, influence the outcome, thankfully they are few and far between.
For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
Neighbors Get an Eyeful When Nudist Steps Outside
DEAR ABBY: We have a male neighbor I'll call "Flash" who frequently walks out to get his newspaper -- or the mail, or to retrieve something from his car -- while he's as naked as the day he was born. (He's in his late 50s and divorced.) Some of the women in the neighborhood know not to look toward Flash's home if they're out for a walk. They have discovered that he is most likely in the buff, standing at his glass door or sitting at his front office computer with the door open.
Flash is otherwise a likable and helpful neighbor. We do not want to say anything that might destroy that relationship. It's not against the law to be a nudist, or for a woman to go topless in public in this city. However, to see a fella streak to his car is a little surprising and unsettling, even for another adult.
In the normal course of things, he may be spotted in the nude once a week. I can only assume this goes on daily, but thankfully, our paths don't cross more than once a week. Is this something we should be concerned about? -- STARTLED IN AUSTIN, TEXAS
DEAR STARTLED: Yes, it's something you should be concerned about. Your neighbor appears to be an exhibitionist -- someone who gets his kicks from exposing himself. The difference between an exhibitionist and a naturist -- someone who enjoys going to clothing-optional resorts -- is the exhibitionist "flashes" to get sexual pleasure from shocking people. This is not true of the naturist.
The incidents of exposure that you have seen are not accidents. You would be doing your community a favor to photograph Flash in the act and forward the pictures to your local police station. A picture is worth a thousand words, and he may be breaking the laws against indecent exposure.
P.S. If women going topless in public in Austin, Texas, is permissible, it's news to me.
DEAR ABBY: By mutual agreement, my wife and I agreed to take in my sister-in-law "temporarily" to help while she took a work assignment here. It's two years later and she's still here. She is arrogant and distant, and we feel her discontent with putting up with us.
This is our house, and we dread being here because of her presence. How do we ask her to leave? I want to set a deadline, but my wife says she cannot be so cruel. Her mother says her government assistance will be jeopardized if she allows her to move in with her. I am considering selling our house to get rid of her, but I'm afraid she would tag along. -- END OF MY ROPE IN TEXAS
DEAR END OF MY ROPE: The first thing you and your wife need to do is be sure you both agree that "Sissy" should go. If she doesn't, it could spell the end of your marriage.
Once you are in agreement, then the both of you will have to tell your wife's sister that it's time this "temporary" living situation came to an end. Set a date for her to be out, and post it on her bedroom door. It may take the help of a sheriff and a formal eviction to get her out, but if she has a job, she won't be on the streets.
P.S. Do not expect gratitude from her for the shelter you have provided. From your description, she's incapable of it.
For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)