DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been through a lot this past year. We found out my stepson, "Tim," was molesting young children. Three of his victims are close family members. Our entire family has been through some traumatic times trying to deal with this. Tim is currently in a foster home for young adults. He wants to come home and for everyone to forgive him.
As you might expect, my husband is taking this extremely hard. He also wants his son home. I gave him an ultimatum. If Tim comes home, I will leave him. Was that wrong? That boy literally destroyed my family.
I do want Tim to get help, but he has been cheating the system and not taking the treatment in his hurry to get back here. Also, he has lied about other victims. Is there hope? - - NEEDING ANSWERS IN UTAH
DEAR NEEDING ANSWERS: My heart goes out to your husband. It is understandable that he would want his son to come home. However, you were right to give him the ultimatum -- especially if you have children in the household -- and if necessary you should follow through. Your stepson is a predator, and no young child is safe around him. He needs supervision and therapy. The fact that he has not been honest with the people who are trying to help him indicates that he needs to be exactly where he is.