DEAR Abby: Over the last two years I have lost 95 pounds. I did it by changing my lifestyle, exercising and making better food choices.
My husband, "Paul," insists that he shouldn't have to hide his cookies, potato chips and chocolate candy, and says I should have self-control. I do have self-control, Abby, but sometimes the temptation is just too great. I feel Paul is unconsciously trying to sabotage me. How can I make him understand that I don't want junk food in my line of vision, and that it isn't all about willpower? -- RESENTFUL IN CALIFORNIA
DEAR RESENTFUL: Your resentment is justified. His insistence on keeping junk food where you will find it is an attempt at control. Your husband isn't "unconsciously" trying to sabotage you; it is overt and deliberate. Your victory may be a threat to him. On some level it may have made him feel less in control of you, or he may be threatened that you are now more attractive to other men.
Because you can't control what your husband does, you must control the way you react to it. The next time you take a bite of his junk food, remember why he left it there. I'm sure it will leave a bitter taste in your mouth.