DEAR ABBY: Three years ago, my next-to-oldest daughter became angry with me and said, in front of my husband, "George" (her stepfather), that he had sexually abused her when she was small. I was furious that she would accuse him of anything like that. I thought she said it to get back at me.
Well, I have recently found out that what she said was true! George also abused my oldest daughter. They are now 34 and 36, and say they have forgiven him because he was drinking during those years.
Abby, I feel terrible for my daughters. I have been married to George for 31 years and would never have believed this in my wildest dreams! I'm sick about it and don't know what to do. My daughters have a good relationship with George now. I don't even want to look at him. Should I confront him? I don't know what good it would do now. Please help. -- FEELING NUMB IN INDIANA
DEAR FEELING NUMB: What George did is unforgivable. By all means confront your child-molesting husband, but not until you have first discussed this with a counselor and received some emotional support. Ask your daughters to accompany you in case they have any unresolved issues having to do with the abuse.
Since George has proven he can't be trusted around children, he belongs on a list of sexual offenders so he cannot molest other children with whom he might come in contact. And that includes grandchildren. Please don't wait.