DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m an empty-nester. My husband wants me to work with him 24/7 now that my kids are out of the house. We live together, work together and share a car, so when I need to go anywhere, he’s the one taking me. How can I tell my husband that I need a break from him without hurting his feelings? -- Need Space
DEAR NEED SPACE: Your story reminds me of my mother when my father retired. He followed her everywhere for about a year, even going with her to the hairdresser once. That’s when she drew the line and explained that she needed some alone time. It hurt his feelings at first, but eventually he came to accept it.
Talk to your husband about your new reality. As empty-nesters, you need to reset the rules. Express how much you love him AND your space. Make it clear that sometimes you need time alone. Pick a place in your house that can be your sanctuary, off-limits to him. Establish times when you can use the car without him, even if it’s just to go to the store or visit a friend. Suggest that he carve out time and space for himself, too. Your lives have changed dramatically, and you need to figure out how to be comfortable with a new rhythm.
(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)