DEAR HARRIETTE: My mom's boyfriend is not a good guy at all. He's been arrested several times, and I think he currently has a warrant our for his arrest. My sister and I also recently found out that he has a child by another woman that he never told my mom about. My mom is in her late 50s and has never had the best of luck when it comes to men. I think that she's holding on to this guy out of desperation. I want her to realize that there's so much better out there and that she doesn't have to settle for this man. All he’s doing is dragging her down. What do I do? -- Dump Him
DEAR DUMP HIM: This is your mother’s life, not yours. Just as you might fail to change a girlfriend’s mind about a bad boyfriend, the same is likely to happen with your mother until the day she wakes up and realizes that this man isn’t good for her. I’m sorry to say that, but it’s probably true.
What you can do is encourage your mom to do things with you and your sister, with girlfriends and neighbors. Try to get her to expand her sphere so that she engages in activities that she finds fun and fulfilling independent of him. Don’t bad-mouth her man, but if she asks for input or mentions his bad actions, you can state your opinion. Be there to support her without judging her.