DEAR HARRIETTE: I joined a dating app a couple of months ago, and I connected with a really nice man who met all of my requirements. It wasn't until about two weeks ago that he started showing serious signs of instability. For example, if I’m busy and cannot answer my phone, he will call and text me incessantly. He’s even gone as far as to call my work number and make sure I’m there. On one occasion, he showed up at my house unannounced and practically begged me to let him inside. We are not even officially in a relationship -- we are only casually dating. I don’t know if I can look past this behavior. Should I have a talk with him or just cut him off altogether? -- Online Dater
DEAR ONLINE DATER: This man sounds dangerous. You definitely don’t want to keep dating him, but because he knows where you live and work, you have to be careful in distancing yourself from him. If possible, have a conversation with him on the phone and let him know that while you have enjoyed getting to know him, you do not want to go out with him anymore. Assure him that he is a nice guy, but you have decided that you do not want to continue this relationship. If he asks why, tell him that you don’t think you two are a good fit. Before you get serious, you want to stop.
Chances are, this won’t be enough. You should alert your neighbors, friends and job that this man may decide to lurk around, and you need them to have your back. You can contact the dating app and let them know that this man has some stalker tendencies. If he crosses the line -- as in trespassing or threatening you -- call the police.