DEAR HARRIETTE: My ex-husband’s new wife completely crossed the line with me the other day. She took my daughter to get her hair “trimmed” and brought her back with about 4 inches of her real, natural hair cut off. My daughter insists that she wanted her hair short, but as you can imagine, I was completely blindsided. I’ve had no issues with my ex-husband’s wife up until this point. My daughter likes her, and she seems to be a nice woman. However, now I am completely furious that she thought she had the right to make such a bold decision on my daughter’s behalf. My daughter is 6 years old and isn’t allowed to make decisions like that without asking me. My ex-husband knows this. What should I do? -- Haircut
DEAR HAIRCUT: Go directly to your husband’s new wife. Ask to speak to her, and express your concerns. Do your best to stay calm and clear. You want to maintain your power in this situation, and emotion will drain you of that.
Tell her how disappointed and upset you are that she had your daughter’s hair cut without your permission. Point out that a haircut is a big deal in your eyes, and your ex knows that and knows that you would not appreciate this violation of your jurisdiction. Acknowledge that for the most part, you two have a positive rapport, and you know that your daughter and she get along. You would like for that to continue. For that to happen, she must honor your authority and check in with you before even mentioning major changes to your child.