DEAR HARRIETTE: My niece posts the most inappropriate pictures on social media. She is only 17 and posts revealing pictures of herself on Instagram, Twitter, etc. It attracts the WRONG type of attention. The main problem is that her own parents don’t see an issue with it! I’ve asked her dad (my brother) several times if he’s privy to the things she posts, and he said he doesn’t think it’s his business. I can respect giving her the right to make her own decisions, but this is dangerous. She could attract pedophiles. Her mother and I do not have the type of relationship where I would feel comfortable mentioning it to her, but I feel that something must be done. I want the best for my niece, and I fear she doesn’t have anyone to tell her right from wrong. Should I just back off? Or should I say something to her myself and take matters into my own hands? -- Aunty Problems
DEAR AUNTY PROBLEMS: Your niece is at a vulnerable age that has only been exacerbated by the confines of COVID-19. Social media has become even more important as an outlet for teens. And teenagers at her age are often pushing the envelope in terms of exploring their identity and flirting with the unknown.
You are right to be concerned. The best thing you can do is to develop a closer relationship with your niece so that she trusts you and will listen -- at least sometimes. Do not chastise her. That will get you blocked from her social media accounts. Instead, talk to her about her life, her choices and how she spends her time. If you see something egregious, you might ask her about it -- but without judgment. Get her to talk about her posts and how people have responded. Then you can let her know that you are worried that she may be putting herself in a vulnerable position -- something she should think about.
(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)