DEAR HARRIETTE: A guy who went to college with me calls every six months or so, always wanting me to hook him up. By the second sentence of the call, the ask is there, and it’s always for a significant favor that is far beyond my scope of interest, network or anything else. This guy is pushy and gross, as far as I am concerned. But we do share the bond of going to the same college a thousand years ago. I do my best to help anybody from my school that I can. But this has gotten out of control. How can I get him to back off? I have tried so many things, including hardly ever being able to help -- not because I am holding back, but more because I really can’t. -- Enough
DEAR ENOUGH: It is OK to stop engaging this man. If he has shown himself to you to be a taker and a user without ever reciprocating, you can make the choice that you do not have to talk to him anymore. That can be as simple as you no longer accepting his calls. Period.