DEAR HARRIETTE: I gave all of my nieces and nephews money for Christmas, mainly because we weren’t going to be able to see one another. I figured it was an efficient way to give them gifts. Plus, they are old enough to want to choose how to spend their money themselves. Of the six teenagers I sent money to, only two said thank you. I kid you not! I don’t mean a thank-you note. I mean anything. I didn’t hear boo from the others. I know they got the money because I sent it directly into their accounts. Two of them had to set up the delivery system so that they could even receive the money, which they did with help from their sister -- and still they didn’t say thank you. I am surprised at just how rude they were. Do you think I should say something, or maybe just not give them a gift next year? I worry that if I wait until next Christmas, though, they probably won’t even remember -- if they even realize it now. -- No Thank You
DEAR NO THANK YOU: This is your family, so you have the right to double back and talk to them about this. Contact each one directly. Check in to see how they are doing as this new year has begun. Ask if they received the money that you sent them for Christmas. When they respond affirmatively, ask them why they did not acknowledge receipt. Then tell them that it was rude to say nothing after receiving your gift and that you are offended by their bad manners. Teach them that in the cycle of giving and receiving, acknowledgment is the very least that they should do when receiving a gift. Expressing gratitude should be an action they cultivate. Make sure they know that.