DEAR HARRIETTE: My friend won’t stop making comments about my weight gain. I know that I’ve gained weight. I’m probably about 20 pounds heavier since the start of the pandemic, but I’m taking the necessary steps to lose the weight now. Even when I feel a bit healthier and smaller, she will still find a way to sneak in an uncalled-for remark. She’s someone who has always been on the thinner side, so she has no perception of how hurtful those comments can be. Even when she means her comments as compliments, they make me uncomfortable and insecure for the rest of the day. I’m growing to resent her. Do you think it’s worth addressing, or should I cut her off? My other friends think I need to kick her to the curb, but I’m unsure. -- Weight Gain
DEAR WEIGHT GAIN: Tell your friend you want to talk to her, then lay it all on the line. Point out that whether or not she realizes it, her comments are hurtful. You are completely aware of the fact that you have gained weight, and you have started to do something about it. Having her constantly berating you for how you look is not helpful. Tell her that she is constantly hurting your feelings and that you want her to stop. If she cannot figure out how to be supportive, make it clear that you will have to distance yourself from her.
There’s a chance that your friend isn’t conscious of her ongoing criticism of you. If she honestly attempts to curb her comments, keep her in the friend group. Otherwise, pivot away from her and toward your healthy practices and supportive friends.