DEAR HARRIETTE: I am newly married and living in a new home, and I just had a baby. Life is fantastic. I am grateful. My best friend, however, is now the “messy auntie.” She shows up at my house at all hours, never wants to help with the baby but wants to play with him. She eats and drinks all of our food and never cleans up. She has really bought into the whole idea of playing with the baby and returning it to the mommy when it cries. She says she comes to help, but she just creates an inconvenience for me when she tells me to take a break, but my break always gets interrupted.
I love my best friend, but now that I’m a mom, it is like she wants to be my kid, too. She has never been so carefree before. She’s taking control of my new home and family. My husband kicks her out for me, but I do not have the heart to tell her how exhausted she is making me. I do not want to be a bad friend and start ignoring her calls and dodging her, but I don’t know what to say either. -- Messy Auntie
DEAR MESSY AUNTIE: Your job is to put your foot down with your friend and educate her. Chances are, she doesn’t know how to be helpful. You need to tell her how her behavior is negatively impacting you, your family and your life. Tell her you love her and need her to support in specific ways. The clearer you are, the more likely your best friend will fall in line.