DEAR HARRIETTE: I was in a high-level meeting the other day and made a critical observation of one of the top executives. Turns out that my comment fell flat, in part, because one of the people in the room is very close to the person I criticized. What I said was true, but I fear that it will come back to bite me. How can I smooth things over? I don't want to lie about anything, but I do want to maintain a positive working relationship with the whole team, especially those at the top. -- Foot in Mouth
DEAR FOOT IN MOUTH: If you have any relationship with the executive you criticized, start there. Go directly to that person and admit that you said something that might have ruffled a few feathers. Tell the person what you said and what you meant in the most constructive way possible. At least it won't be a surprise when the other person likely doubles back to report on what you said.
In the future, reserve criticism of executives and others to private meetings. Even then, be constructive. When you have comments that may seem sharp or judgmental, package them in such a way that they have solutions attached to them. When you can see a way out of a potential problem or conflict with a person, frame it that way. It may soften the criticism without losing the impact of your thoughts. `
(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)