DEAR HARRIETTE: The Black Lives Matter movement is the biggest topic today, aside from COVID-19. The world is changing, and the truth about people in our surroundings has been coming to light. My white friends are backing all lives matter, and I’m confused about what to think and feel. Why don’t they see why BLM is important? Have I been blind to their true feelings about Black people all this time? Have they been blind to their own feelings about Black people? How do I continue these friendships? Should I? I am in shock because there is a lot of love here, but I feel for the first time that we are just too different after all. I want to bridge our races, as I thought we were doing this whole time. Was it all fake? -- Lost in This World
DEAR LOST IN THIS WORLD: Honest, robust conversations are beginning among people who normally do not talk about race. Research is revealing to many people nuances about the racial justice struggle that, hopefully, will open more eyes.
The fight between Black Lives Matter and all lives matter is based on perspective. The reason that Black Lives Matter became a thing is that Black life didn’t seem to matter to many people. Black men and women were being executed on a regular basis with no repercussions -- whether the murderer was a citizen or a police officer. The notion of all lives matter emerged as a reaction to BLM, suggesting that white lives, blue (police) lives and all people are important. That was never the issue. These other entities were not and are not under attack in the way that Black people are.
When you educate your friends about why upholding the value of life is necessary, this may help them to understand better. The intention of Black Lives Matter isn't that white lives -- or any other lives -- matter less. Instead, it is to point out that Black lives should not be disposable.
Don’t give up on your white friends. Start talking, reading together, sharing information and keeping the dialogue going. Education is key to liberation.
(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)