DEAR HARRIETTE: My mother is losing her memory, and it is so scary. We have had her checked out by a doctor who said she doesn’t have dementia or Alzheimer’s disease. That’s good, but it doesn’t change the fact that she forgets everything. I talk to her on the phone, and five minutes later she may not remember what we talked about. What’s worse is that she is living in a nursing home, so we still cannot go to visit her. Ever since COVID-19 started, she has deteriorated so much. I am worried about her. Being alone with nothing to do is terrible for her. But her doctor does not think that we can take her out of the facility because we don’t have the skills to care for her. -- Save Mom
DEAR SAVE MOM: Many doctors are encouraging family members to keep their elderly loved ones safe by keeping them in these facilities. Some nursing homes are offering drive-by visitation with family members so they can at least see each other. Do that if you can. Weekly interaction may spark your mother’s hopefulness. Call her regularly. Use FaceTime or some other videoconferencing feature if you can. Many facilities are helping by providing this service. Ask her to tell you stories that may jog her memory. Stay in close touch as you wait for the day when visitation opens up.
(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)