DEAR HARRIETTE: I want to share my two cents with the reader who was upset that her son wasn’t bathing much. You had suggested taking away electronics, but I’d argue that the current generation is not like we were in the ‘70s and ‘80s. Back then, my son would shrug and not care. Now, cutting him off from his support network -- if he has one -- might be just the thing to tip him over to suicide. Have a conversation. Ask nicely. Ask if something is wrong. Talk about the current situation. Ask if he would like to go anywhere and what you can do. Explain that you all live together, and it would be considerate for him to be clean. Find out if there is something he would like -- less tofu for dinner (for example) -- where you can compromise.
Strongarm techniques don't work on 3-year-olds, and they don't work on older kids either. You don't motivate someone by punishing them. You find something they want and inspire them to get there. -- Mother of a 22-Year-Old
DEAR MOTHER OF A 22-YEAR-OLD: You have said a lot of things. I will add that talking to your family members, of all ages, during this time of quarantine is essential. It is tough to be cooped up at home, and both habits and behaviors can be extreme during this time. Communicate.
(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)