DEAR HARRIETTE: A good friend was just diagnosed with diabetes. He was very sick but is on the mend now. I have been talking to him a lot, kind of like a cheerleader. What I haven’t done yet is reveal that I, too, have diabetes. I am a very private person, and I don’t talk about it at all. I take my medicine and follow directions to the best of my abilities. Am I being a hypocrite by not sharing that part of my story with him? I have been a good listener for him. He sounds like he appreciates my attentiveness, but deep inside I know that I have left out a pretty significant detail in my own story. Should I tell him? -- Keeping Secrets
DEAR KEEPING SECRETS: You can support your friend without talking about your own health. That is your prerogative. Being a good listener is invaluable, and I bet he appreciates you. What you may also want to do is ask yourself why you have chosen not to tell your story. It can be helpful to talk with other people about your health journey. When times get tough, having someone who can also hear your side of things may inspire you to be more vigilant in your health regimen. Explore why you have chosen to remain silent. Even if you decide not to tell this friend, you should find another confidant. When you talk about your challenges, you can grow stronger.
By the way, that confidant could be the social worker from your health care provider’s office. Next time you get a check-in call from them, answer the phone!
(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)