Sense & Sensitivity by Harriette Cole

Reader Questions Returning Back to Normal

DEAR HARRIETTE: My father passed away a few years ago, and we just got around to packing up the rest of his belongings because my mother decided to sell her house. While we were going through the things in his office, we found a box with letters in it that turned out to be from another woman. It turns out he had an affair for an extended period of time, as detailed in this pack of letters. My mother immediately took the letters away and has refused to talk about it, but she seemed visibly upset. Should we press her on this? I am curious about this new discovery, and I wish I could actually read the letters, but she has them now. Should my siblings and I query her on this situation, and would it be wrong for me to ask if I can read them? -- Troubling Discovery

DEAR TROUBLING DISCOVERY: Your father’s affair is none of your business. You should not ask to read the letters. You should not press her about this at all. If she wants to talk about it, she will open up to you. For now, leave it alone.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)