DEAR HARRIETTE: A woman I know and care about very much just lost her father to COVID-19. I am so sorry for her. He lived in a nursing home, so she couldn’t even see him for the past month when he was doing poorly. He was an elderly man, but his daughter is young and vital and very popular. So many people want to go to his funeral to honor his life, but they can’t. The law says that only 10 people can gather. This is so depressing. How can we support our friend during this time of loss? Under any other circumstances, there would have been hundreds of loved ones in attendance. -- Mourning During COVID-19
DEAR MOURNING DURING COVID-19: Loss during this period is extremely tough because it is impossible to grieve in the ways that we once did. Hugging, crying, touching, physically consoling -- they cannot happen at this time. It is true that the survivors are the ones who need that consolation. Your popular friend would surely appreciate having more than 10 people present at her father’s homegoing.
There is a chance that you can join remotely. Reach out to your friend and tell her that you and many other friends want to be there for her. Ask her if there is a chance, through the funeral parlor, that the service can be live-streamed. This is a popular option right now so that loved ones can complete the bond of love and release for a life well-lived. If this is possible, spread the word to friends. If not, invite friends to send notes and greeting cards that express your sadness about her father’s passing.
(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)