DEAR HARRIETTE: I just received the call that I have been waiting for all my life. The man I have loved more than any other called me to profess his love for me. He told me I was his family, for real. That all of his family knows about me. That he loves me from the depths of his being. I have loved him since I was in college, but he was a player and never made time for me to be his partner. He was respectful and did not dog me the way he did some of the women in his life, but he also never committed.
I don’t know what to do with this new information. I am married and have been for many years. I have a decent marriage, but nothing compares to what I feel for my true love. Should I find out if this is real? And, if so, then what? Part of me wonders if that call was a drunk dial, though he didn’t sound drunk. I am afraid to believe what I heard, but I did hear it. -- True Love
DEAR TRUE LOVE: Ever heard of too good to be true? I’m sorry to tell you, but that’s what this sounds like. Or you could go with another saying -- "too little, too late." On one hand, it’s lovely that you got to hear what you have hoped to hear for so long. On the other, how selfish. He knows you are married. He knows that you are unavailable. He likely knows that you have loved him for years.
I would question why he is declaring his love at this time. Is he ill? Is he lonely? Is he now an elder needing your care? Also, ask yourself what you intend to do with this information. Would you leave your husband if this man told you he is ready for you to be in his life as his partner? Do your best to think through all of the scenarios as real-life options. Evaluate the risks and realities. Ask him why he is telling you this now. If you are unable to fully commit to your husband because you still care for him, then you might want to walk in his direction, but do so with caution. Chances are tremendous that your feelings will get hurt.