DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a friend who is having a baby. I am old-school, so I don’t love the fact that she is having a baby without being married, but she is an adult, and she has made her choice. I am coming to understand, in my old age, that not everyone shares my values. I am certain that she will be a good mother. She is a lovely young woman. She has invited me to her baby shower. I have been close to her since she was a child. I am thinking of attending. My only worry is that I still have some funny feelings about her not being married. I don’t want to say anything wrong. Can you suggest ways that I can be sure to be a good guest? -- No Judgment
DEAR NO JUDGMENT: Your worries may be for naught as it relates to going to the shower. Right now, only very small gatherings are being encouraged, so this event may be canceled. Check in with her to see.
Whether you see her in person or talk to her on the phone, focus on the positive. Congratulate her on the pregnancy. Ask her how she feels. Listen to her about how she’s managing. Pregnancy can be daunting for women the first time around. There is so much to consider. Since you have known her for all of her life, reserve your comments to words of encouragement. Keep your opinions to yourself.
(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)