DEAR HARRIETTE: A former employee of mine is getting married. I have known about this for about a year. Naturally, I expected to be invited. Well, I just learned that most of the members of my staff who worked with her were indeed invited, but I was not. I have checked my mail every day for a couple of weeks, and I’ve received nothing. Should I check in with her to make sure it wasn’t an oversight? I don’t want to make waves, but I really can’t believe that she wouldn’t have invited me. -- Passed Over
DEAR PASSED OVER: Resist the urge to ask your former employee if you were invited to her wedding. As much as it stings right now, trust that you do not want to make her life any more challenging than it is. The chopping block for invitation lists is serious and mostly has to do with budget. Couples make tough decisions as they whittle down their lists. Perhaps this woman invited only former colleagues who were very close to her. Perhaps it was an oversight. Whatever the case may be, let her deal with it later rather than you bringing it up.
To the best of your ability, forgive her for her omission, too. If you truly care about her, send her a gift anyway, and do not hold a grudge. It’s likely that lots of folks she cares about weren’t invited.
(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)