DEAR HARRIETTE: My mother is elderly, so my siblings and I tend not to tell her all of our troubles anymore. She gets to worrying, and it’s not good.
I’m supposed to have a routine medical procedure soon, and I’m a little nervous about it. Normally I would tell my mother, but I feel like I should keep it to myself. How do you think I should handle this? -- Protecting Mom
DEAR PROTECTING MOM: You are smart not to share all of the details of your medical challenges with your mother. Just as when you were little and you told your mother about a problem and she worried for days or weeks after you had gotten over it, so it is when your mother is older.
Instead, make sure that your siblings are informed about your health status and whatever you are undergoing. Have them monitor the situation so that if there is an emergency, they will be able to loop in your mother and address any serious concerns that come up.
At the same time, do not lie to your mother. It is better to speak in generalities with her so that she has a sense of what’s happening in your life. In this way, a medical issue does not have to be a total shock to her system. But you do not need to inform her of every test or procedure that you have.
(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)