DEAR HARRIETTE: My wife is a very attractive woman, at least to me. I love how she dresses and pays attention to how she looks. She is a professional woman, so she is smart and great at what she does, too. I have found that some of my male friends don’t like it so much when we all get together and my wife seems to stand out among the women. It’s not her fault that she is a pretty great package. I know I’m proud of her, but I worry about how some of the other husbands and wives react to her. Sometimes it seems like a competition. Other times it looks like they flock together and ignore her.
I want my wife to be happy, and I worry that she isn’t comfortable hanging out with these people, even though they are our principal friend group. What can I do to support her? -- Be Nice
DEAR BE NICE: Talk to your wife. Make sure she is feeling like she needs or wants help in this situation. While you notice that some people seem envious of her, she may not pay it any attention. Don’t make assumptions. Find out how she feels and if she wants you to intervene in any way, or even if she wants to branch out and start to form an additional friend group. If she is OK, you will need to start overlooking the pettiness. If she is not, consider adding new friends to your social calendar. Don’t call these people out. It will only make things worse.
(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)