DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband and I have not been intimate in years. It started with him having a medical condition, followed by several years of nasty back and forth. I felt like we were always yelling. I had no desire to have sex if the only other interaction that was happening was mean-spirited and negative. We have been mainly getting along recently, mostly focused on work and our children. But our second kid is about to go away to college.
As we have been planning for college, my husband mentioned that when our son leaves, he wants a divorce. This should not be a surprise; we have been mostly coexisting for years, but I guess I never thought it would actually happen. I’m scared to death. I haven’t been on my own for years. My husband makes way more money than I do, and even though we are at retirement age, I doubt I can ever retire. I don’t know how I will make it on my own. How can I get him to reconsider? -- Stop the Divorce
DEAR STOP THE DIVORCE: Nothing that you said suggests that you want to save the marriage. It appears that you want to save your finances. Depending on where you live, you may be eligible for as much as half of your husband’s assets. That may help. But, for starters, why not ask your husband to go to counseling with you? Even if it ends up as professional support for how you uncouple, it may prove helpful for you to figure out your next steps.
(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)