DEAR HARRIETTE: My girlfriend and I just started dating, and her birthday is coming up. I want to do something special for her. When I asked her what she wanted to do for her birthday, she said not to worry about it. If I have ever learned anything about women, I’m just going to assume she doesn’t actually mean that. I would like to take her word for it, but I just can’t be the boyfriend that actually does nothing.
My girlfriend is an interior designer, so she pays attention to detail and is very over-the-top, but she hates surprises. So I am stuck. Do I go big? Do I do something small? Should I tell her or not? She already gave me an answer, but I feel like her asking for nothing has put me in a more difficult position. How do I know how to give her what she wants? -- I Don’t Speak Girl
DEAR I DON’T SPEAK GIRL: Your effort is noteworthy. I wouldn’t surprise your girlfriend. Instead, invite her to a special socially distanced dinner with you at a local restaurant or invite her to a meal that you prepare with all of her favorite foods. Tell her that you want to do something special for her that she will appreciate and that you hope she will welcome it.
(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)